CORA supports all survivors of intimate partner abuse.
At CORA, we provide a safe and healing space for LGBTQ+ survivors of intimate partner abuse.
We are dedicated to providing LGBTQ-affirming and culturally appropriate individuals therapy, family therapy and support groups for adults and children.
We believe people of all genders who are fleeing abusive relationships or are homeless due to abuse deserve a safe and welcoming place to stay.
We provide callers to our hotline referrals to a wide network of San Mateo and Bay Area LGBTQ+ resources and organizations.
CORA proudly partners with local and state organizations to promote LGBTQ-inclusive intimate partner services.
How to Get Help
If the thought “Is this abuse?” has crossed your mind, then the question definitely deserves more of your attention. While there is no single sign of abuse, there are some telltale signals that serve as excellent indicators. Below are some lists of some indicators of abuse. Keep in mind that abuse looks different for everyone and might look different than the things on this list for you.
Does the other person…
- Humiliate you, call you names, or make fun of you in private or public?
- Prevent you or make it difficult to spend time with friends, family, or community?
- Keep you up at night or make you miss obligations by arguing or talking?
- Constantly check up on you by stopping by work/home/community, look through your phone or personal belongings, or demand to know who you are talking to?
- Monitor your social media/email?
- Act over-protective of jealous for no reason?
- Have sudden outbursts of anger?
- Threaten to hurt you by doing things to scare you, making faces or gestures to scare you, using threatening words, throwing things or hitting walls, or threatens suicide if you leave?
- Harm you, children, friends/family, or pets?
- Slap, push, shove, hold you down, or otherwise physically intimidate or hurt you?
- Threaten to out your sexuality, gender, HIV status, or other information to your friends, family, or work?
- Force you to have sex, have unprotected sex, or sex in ways you don’t want to? Claim that LGBTQ sex is “supposed” to be a certain way?
- Blame you for abuse by saying you made them do it, provoked them, pressed their buttons, or led them on?
- Control or withhold access to medication (including meds for depression, anxiety, HIV, hormones)?
- Put down your gender identity or presentation, misgender you or use wrong pronouns, pressure you to act or look more “male/masc” or “female/fem”? Pressure you to transition in a certain way or not to transition how you want?
- Tell you that no one will ever love you, that you’re worthless, or that you could never find someone else?
- Control your money against your will or without your knowledge?
- Convince you to doubt your memory or judgments, guilt trip or manipulate you, changes the expectations or rules without any warning, try to gaslight you or convince you that you are “crazy” or confused?
- Blames you or tells you that you are the one being abusive?
- Tell you that domestic violence doesn’t exist in LGBTQ relationships?
- Blame their actions on being drunk or high or pressure you to use drugs/alcohol?
- Apologize and promise to change, but afterward become abusive again?
- Fear your partner?
- Feel isolated or alone or like there is no one you can talk to?
- Sometimes wonder if you’re going crazy that perhaps you’re overreacting to your partner’s behavior?
- Feel badly about yourself or believe you deserve to be hurt?
- Avoid certain topics so you don’t anger your partner?
- Feel emotionally numb or helpless?