The Silent Crisis: How Disconnection Fuels Domestic Violence

As we close out the year, we are saddened to report six domestic violence-related deaths in San Mateo County, including a recent stabbing of an – as of this writing – unidentified woman in Redwood City on December 8, 2024. This latest tragedy, which occurred in front of several witnesses, ended with the perpetrator calling the police himself and being arrested at the scene.

When these heartbreaking incidents continue to recur in our communities, we must ask: why does this keep happening? At CORA, our work is driven by the fact that beneath the surface of domestic violence, there are complex factors within the dynamics of relationships that contribute to these tragedies. One of the most pervasive and often overlooked is disconnection—a silent crisis affecting relationships at every level.

Disconnection is a multifaceted problem shaped by societal expectations, economic pressures, and the rapid pace of technological advancement. While technology has revolutionized many aspects of our lives, it has also created barriers to genuine human interaction. The endless pings of our devices can pull us away from family dinners, meaningful conversations, and the simple act of being present.

At the same time, economic shifts have placed immense pressure on families. For most, surviving on a single income is no longer feasible, forcing many parents to juggle multiple responsibilities while trying to raise their children. Earlier this year, the U.S. Surgeon General declared parental stress an urgent public health issue, underscoring the need for support systems that foster connection and strengthen relationships for the well-being of families.

But disconnection is not just about technology or economic strain. It is also deeply rooted in harmful societal expectations and imbalances in relationships. These expectations often reinforce unhealthy dynamics, where one person may feel entitled to control or dominate another. Patterns like these can isolate victims, discourage them from seeking help, and normalize behaviors that escalate to violence.

At CORA, we witness the consequences of these challenges daily, but we also see the power of solutions rooted in connection. One of our most impactful programs, To Do At Home (TDAH), provides free activities that foster healthy communication and bonding within families with young children. For example, one activity features Conversation Cards that offer simple but meaningful prompts like, “What’s one of your favorite activities we do together?” These activities encourage families to slow down, listen to one another, and build relationships grounded in mutual respect and understanding – to form a genuine and enduring connection.

It may sound simple, but the truth is connection is at the heart of what makes us human. Our brains are wired for it. It’s how we learn, thrive, and ultimately, how we heal.

A Call to Action

To prevent tragedies like the one in Redwood City, we must act now to rebuild the connections that sustain us. Programs like TDAH are just one example of the tools we need to strengthen families before violence begins. But this work requires collective effort.

We invite you to support CORA in fostering healthy, connected families. Whether it’s by participating in TDAH, advocating for policies that address economic strain, or challenging the societal norms that perpetuate disconnection and violence, you can be a part of the solution.

Together, we can create a future where families thrive, and domestic violence is no longer a tragic reality.

CORA’s 24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.300.1080

Learn more about CORA and our work at www.corasupport.org. Questions about the TDAH program or other programs at CORA? Email us at info@corasupport.org.